Here is something I just learned. Iced tea can go bad when it sits in the back of the refrigerator for too long. It will still look the same. It will still smell the same. It will not taste the same. #LFMF

Submitted by: Mary via Submit Page

Make sure that your child’s preschool teachers know your husband is an IVF (test tube baby) lab supervisor before the "What my Daddy Does for Work" day – especially if your husband took said child into work on a quiet day to check data. Inevitably, when asked "What does your Daddy do for work?" will be answered as "He makes babies and I got to watch!" #LFMF

Submitted by: homemom via Submit Page

When twisting firework fuses together remember that the burn rate increases exponentially with the number of fuses involved, and that eyebrows take months to grow back properly. #LFMF

Submitted by: Andrew via Submit Page

When a nun keeps demanding you read more appropriate books in school (and by appropriate she means not sci-fi or Piers Anthony), do not bring in the Exorcist and try to convince her it is a book based in the Catholic religion. #LFMF

Submitted by: cathschoolgirlnomore via Submit Page

If you take nitroglycerin for a heart condition, learn to call it "heart pills". Airport security deosn’t appreciate you calling it "my explosives". #LFMF

Submitted by: Oren Otter via Submit Page

If your friend has to take a deep breath before listing off all the different drinks they had that night, they’re NOT OK to drive. #LFMF

Submitted by: Ben via Submit Page

When you ask your wife what she wants for her birthday and she says "You don’t have to get me anything." Don’t get her that. #LFMF

Submitted by: In the dog house via Submit Page

When visiting your world war two veteran grandfather, do not think that it’ll be clever to greet him in German just because he knows German; unless you want him to have horrible flashbacks. #LFMF

Submitted by: kyle via Submit Page

Just because it’s 6 am and you’re in the shower don’t assume the banging on the bathroom door is your fianceé needing to pee and yell come in… your building could be on fire and a fireman might be opening your shower curtain. #LFMF

Submitted by: Stacia via Submit Page

When your young cousin asks, "what’s a f–k?" don’t hurriedly reply that it’s a female duck. They will use the term to refer to the ducks they see on the pond during a school trip. #LFMF

Submitted by: Failer via Submit Page